I love planning parties! It’s a bit of a creative outlet for
me. So when Hudson turned one – the sky was the limit! Being an October baby, I
went with an orange and pumpkin theme. We asked everyone to bring his or her
most creative carved or decorated pumpkin for a chance to win a prize. The
winner that year was a Death Star pumpkin.
Since the orange and pumpkin party was a huge success, we
decided to make it a birthday tradition. We kept the pumpkin carving contest and
we added a guessing game. I’d fill a jar with candy corn and whoever guessed
closest to the actual amount won the jar! We also encouraged everyone to wear
orange. Each year felt like a huge success and a great investment of love into
our son.
This year was going to be no different. I designed our
“Orange Party” invites and had Hudson place them in all 19 cubbies of his
classmates. I gave a week to RSVP and by the end of the week I had 3 RSVPs…and
they were all polite declines. The rest never responded. This would normally
shatter my mama heart. And though it hurt a bit, I had an epiphany: maybe I was
projecting MY need for a birthday party on Hudson.
When I realized no one was coming, I started asking Hudson
what he wanted for his birthday. (I was testing the waters to see if he’d be
disappointed if there were no kids at his party.) He said he wanted a
pumpkin-shaped cake and presents. He didn’t mention a party and he didn’t
mention friends – even though he had helped me pass out the invites! He was just
going through the motions of what mom said to do. So even though there were a
few family friends
that were planning on attending, my husband and I decided to
cancel his
birthday party.
Instead of shopping the night before for gift bags and
snacks and candy corn for a guessing game, I shopped entirely for Hudson. I
splurged on our boy and loved every minute of it! I bought almost all things
Minion and whatever supplies I needed to make a pumpkin-shaped cake. I set-up
our dining table with presents, pumpkin decorations, a few balloons, and his
requested cake so that he had something special to wake up to…and he loved it!
He squealed after opening each present and was over the moon
when we let him have a slice of birthday cake for breakfast! And Daddy decided
to make the day even more special…he decided we needed to take an impromptu
trip to the Santa Barbara Zoo! (About a 90 minute drive from our house.) Not
once did Hudson ask about friends or a birthday party. He simply loved and
enjoyed everything we provided for him.
And that’s why I canceled his birthday party. He didn’t need
it. I needed it. I needed it because that’s how you celebrate your kid, right?
That’s how you show them they’re loved, right? Maybe. But that’s not what
Hudson needed. And if he wasn’t going to carry an ounce of remorse over not
having a birthday party, then neither was I!
