Out of the Comfort Zone

This week was one of tears for many parents. It marked the end of summer and the start of the new school year. Some shed tears of sorrow while others shed tears of joy. The mood in the Stepleton house was a combination of the two. Though our summer was fun, it was also exhausting. After all, three year olds don’t seem to understand that summers are meant for sleeping in! These last few months were filled with lots of play dates, time at the pool, family visiting from out of town, and even a trip to see friends in Minnesota! We also had speech twice a week and managed to conquer potty training! Though summer was fun, this mom was ready for a much needed break in the day!

We had been preparing Hudson all week by reminding him that he was going to be going back to school. With a ridiculous amount of enthusiasm – we would excitedly remind him of all the friends and teachers he was going to be seeing. We even had a chance to go to an open house for his school to let him come and get re-acclimated with the classroom. He seemed set…until we walked on to campus Monday morning.

He quickly recalled the routine that was to come. He would line up at the wall, mom and dad would leave, and he would spend the next 6 hours out of his comfort zone. We hadn’t even made it to the wall before he was saying, “Mommy and daddy stay.” We kept reassuring him that we would wait with him until school started, but that we had to go because we needed to buy his new Lego. (Yes, we called upon some assistance from Lego to help kick-start our son’s enthusiasm for school.) Even the promise of a new Lego wasn’t enough for him to willingly line-up with his other classmates. Eventually the teacher held his hand and the class walked to their first stop of the day (the playground). Every step of the way he kept looking back, and with each look my eyes welled with more tears.

It is painfully difficult to disregard the pleas of your child as they cry out for you. As they turn back with a look that says Mama, I need you. It feels like you are betraying their trust, but you’re not. As much as I want to protect Hudson and keep him near me at all times and allow him to feel as safe and secure as possible – I more desperately want him to overcome his challenges. I want Hudson to know that I will always be available for comfort and empathy, but I won’t shy away from allowing him to experience discomfort.

The reality is that with his autism, the more that I coddle him – the more dependent he’ll be on me. The more that I keep him in what is comfortable, the smaller his world will be. If his world is too small, then he won’t learn to be flexible. If he can’t learn to be flexible, then life will be filled with an unnecessary amount of disappointment. I want my son to be able to cope with the ups and downs of life. I want him to try new things. I want him to be on the solution side. I want him to have meaningful relationships. I want him to grow. I want him to continue overcoming his challenges.

As I was thinking through this concept this week, a movie clip came to mind. It’s a powerful scene from the movie Ray. Please watch it below.

His mom choosing not to step in and help may at first appear to be cruel. After all – the poor kid was blind, had fallen, and was calling out for help. However, the help she gave her son was not in coming to his aid. It was allowing him to discover his inner strength. By forcing him out of his comfort zone – he was learning how to “see” with his ears. She withheld a momentary comfort to help build up a lifelong confidence.

Though it may be out of MY comfort zone - that is the type of mom I want to strive to be.

A Voice for the Voiceless

One of the areas affected by autism is communication. Many children are developmentally delayed in this area and therefore struggle to communicate their needs, wants, fears, preferences, etc. This can be very frustrating for the child and heartbreaking for the parent. There’s nothing worse than your child crying in frustration because you don’t understand how to help them. Because of this struggle – many advocate for children with autism to help “be their voice.” We have been more than blessed with wonderful therapists and teachers that have been a voice for Hudson. They have persevered with his struggles; they have helped to get him the right kind of therapy; they have helped to draw out our son from his autistic shell. There are many who are helping in the autistic community to be a voice for the voiceless.

Over these last few weeks, I have been learning about another group of children who are desperate to have a voice. They are desperate to know someone cares. They are desperate to be children again. They are those that have been enslaved in human trafficking.

Maybe this is the first time you’ve even heard this was still a problem in our modern day society. Maybe you’re like me. You’ve heard of the issue before, you’ve shaken your head at the atrocities, but you’ve never been moved to action. Well, I’m not sure what clicked. But I have felt drawn to be a part of the solution.

I’ve been following a blogger named Jamie Wright who recently wrote of her experience in SE Asia and her eyewitness account to these children being exploited for sex. Though the content is heavy – it isn’t absent of hope. Jamie also shares about the good people who are fighting to bring these children freedom…people that are willing to risk their comfort and safety to be a voice for the voiceless. Please take a moment to read her post:

http://www.theveryworstmissionary.com/2013/07/the-big-ask-how-can-i-help-fight-human.html

Sometimes when things are too hard to imagine, we turn our heads and ignore the problem because it’s too much to bear. Sometimes we look the other way because we feel helpless. Thanks to organizations like The Exodus Road, we don’t have to feel helpless. They have provided a practical way for us to make a difference. After learning more about this project, Sean and I decided to support an investigative team monthly so that they have the resources to be the hands and feet that reach out to these children in bondage to sex trafficking. Check out http://www.theexodusroad.com for more info.

I strongly believe that we are blessed so that we may in turn be a blessing to others. Hudson’s struggle with autism is not over, but he has been given a voice. I now want to also make a difference for those children whose parents have betrayed them. I want make a difference for those families that have no idea what has happened to their loved ones. I want to stand up against the evil in this world. Edmund Burke once said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men should do nothing.” I want to do something. I want to help be a voice for those that are still voiceless.